35 days ago I was given a sentence. Four hours before leaving on vacation to Florida for two weeks, a woman drove into me as I crossed the street. I was a block away from home. I remember nothing. I have no recollection of how it happened or when. I can't even remember the events of earlier that day. The memories are lost. Except, I remember the screams as I started to awake. I remember my mother-in-law screaming my name in horror. I also remember the ambulance, and hearing my boyfriend's voice... and all I could say was, "Vais-tu m'aimez si je suis défigurée? On est quel jour?" as he stood there in his slippers.
I was lucky, though. I didn't die, I didn't suffer any life-threatening injuries. There was no internal damage, and thankfully, no permanent damage to my face. All that I got was a broken leg and arm. I was lucky. Yet, nothing this serious has ever happened to me. Sure, I have had more than my share of drama, but I was never the victim; I have always been the survivor, the fighter, the rock. So, here I am, and for the first time in my life I am helpless. My leg was badly broken and with my shoulder injury to top, I have been ordered to stay off my feet for at least three months. I can't do anything for myself. I am stuck.
My boyfriend, F., who has taken time off of work to take care of me, does it all. He carries me from room to room, bed to couch to bed. He bathes me, prepares my food, clothes me, brings me to the bathroom. I am at his mercy. So, we find ourselves in this together, and it hasn't been easy. I am a princess, a fourteen year old child, and he is stuck taking care of me, instead of just living his carefree life. Obviously, then, there are days when we just can't bare each other anymore. And, you can be sure that the intimacy in our relationship has gone out the window. Still, everyday I am surprised at just how happy we can be just lying around watching old TV shows and playing video games. It is in those moments that I realize that love is simply the joy of sharing the mundane with somebody who understands you.
Still, our lives have been drastically changed. One day I was sharing a bottle of wine with a friend at hip, Plateau bar, and the next I am confined to my apartment for three months. One day, F. 's biggest worry was trying to film a decent a skate part for his team website, and the next he becomes the primary caretaker for his girlfriend. So now, here we are in the Gray Box, our home. It has become our universe. We are lucky, though. We live in the twenty first century. Everything is at our fingertips. So, as we discover, our little gray box isn't so small after all.
I obviously think that all this has happened for a reason. It has to. I believe that for all the evil that enters our lives an equal amount of good must ensue. That phrase gets me through life. My mother-in-law seems to think that this accident happened so that I could finally stop. I think that she may just be right. For the first time in my life, I have time on my side. For the first time in my life, I am not bogged down by the "have-to's." It is a nice change of pace. I can take the time to read, to write, and to learn and to experiment. And, hopefully, something great will emerge from it all. Hey, this is a first attempt.
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